Well, biotches, it's been a dizzamn long time tsince I wrote on this here blerg. But guess what?

I made it.

I'm in Sverige. Been here for over a year now. I guess at this point the blog should become about living in Scandinavia, about the reality of it.  But alas, I don't have the energy to keep it.  So I'll delete it soonly.  But if anyone still reads this, rejoice! My dream came true!

Update

Hmmm. You know, I think I'd forgotten, if I'd thought of it initially, that this blog-of-sorts is more about the journey than the destination. So I guess I'm changing that. In that spirit, here's my first update on Projekt Skanda.

Well, so far I've met a few peops from across the pond--a couple have seemingly become friends, many have evaporated. And yes, it does seem that Scandis are harder to get to know than most people I've met before. In that sense they live up to this idea that they're hard to get to know because they're, I dunno, "choosier" than other peops. I think this is a good thing. Because, I admit, I've had a history of choosing poorly among peops. I don't know if I'd choose any differently given a selection of Scandis as opposed to one of Americans--probably not--but it seems better intellectually to deal with people who are by nature more cautious. As for the other part of the Scandi equation--that while they are cautious in letting new people in but prove very reliable once they do--I haven't yet gotten to this level with anyone. I'd have to be friends with people in real life to know. So I'm reserving judgment on that note. Anyway, moving on...

So I'm reading a book on Swedish history. And if that doesn't prove my dedication to The Cause, I don't know what does! Because I'm typically bored stiff by history. Call me unsophisticated, fine (I'll call you a pretentious pig in return); but it makes my eyes heavy reading about battles and whatnot that took place hundreds of years ago. Yes, I got As in Western Civilization back in the day, but it was a CHORE! But I'm reading anyway. Partly because people are all like, "You only like Sweden for the ____!" [Insert something dippy and shallow, like "blondes" or "welfare."] So I figured I should learn a bit more about the country, to dispel accusations and my myne own edification. So I'm up to almost 1700 in the book. Did you know that Sweden was the first country in Europe to issue paper money? Or that there was a "Little Sweden" in North America (in what is moden Delaware)? Well now you do.

As far as the Swedish language, well, learning a language is always a slow, tortuous process. Especially when you don't have the structure of a class. The structure and the deadlines and the aspect of competition. So naturally I'm learning it at a glacial pace, if you can even say I'm learning it at all. I know a few phrases, and I'm getting better at hearing it through listening to a lot of Sveriges Radio. I have to say, I've found some fun stuff. There's a program called Hallongrotta which is hilarious--I wish I could remember where I found it, because I only downloaded one episode. Mammas Nya Kille is funny too. But I think my favorite right now is...

Kropp och Själ (Body and Soul), a program about health and science. I wish I spoke complete Swedish, because the program is really interesting. From the ones I've downloaded, there's one of omega-3 fatty acids, one on sperm donation and my mind is blanking on the other one. The best thing about this program for me is that they speak pretty slowly, so I can actually grasp more words than I usually would. It used to be I could listen to an hour or so of a program and maybe get two words. But I listen to this one and I can get a word every sentence or two. Yes, that's abysmal comprehension, but you can't expect to just understand everything right away. So yeah. But since we're talking about vetenskap....

I realized that there's another reason why I want to live in Sweden, and it involves, of course, the cultural climate. I was reading the other day about some study done in Sweden, and it occurred to me that almost every science article I read these days seems to begin with, "A study in Sweden...." How could I not find the idea of living in a country that produces so much scientific research irresistible? I can't believe it hadn't occurred to me consciously before. Well, perhaps in a sense it had, since the Karolinska Institut, of all things, was on my RADAR. Because I knew that there was a scientist doing a lot of neurogenesis research there. Of course, I wonder if this aspect of the cultural climate affects day-to-day life--I would guess not, but you never know. I would certainly love to experience living in that kind of climate for a while, however, just to see. Because really, assuming that science is valued as highly in Sweden as it would seem, can you see what a contrast that climate is to the anti-science, pro-mumbo jumbo one we've had here in the past 8 years at least? Why, I was just remarking to someone on the trend here of girls having anal and oral sex in their teens because they believe they can do that and remain virgins. (!!) And why is virginity so praised? Well, maybe to avoid pregnancy, but it strikes me that there's probably a huge religious component there. That's part of the point, but more of it is that the mindset behind this trend is one that eschews critical thinking. Critical thinking=one of the building blocks for good science. Am I wrong? But bringing us back to Sweden, one of the reasons I'd like to live there is because it seems to produce a lot of scientific research, and I'd like to experience living in a culture where science is valued. (And I've always held that another huge reason why I want to live there is that religion isn't quite so valued.)

And that's the Skanda beep for now.

Scandinaivia in Salon

An article in salon (that I haven't read all of yet) that seems to praise Scandinavia. This sort of sums up a lot of why I want to live there:

"There is no national anti-gay rights movement," writes Zuckerman, "there are no 'Jesus fish' imprinted on advertisements in the yellow pages, there are no school boards or school administrators who publicly doubt the evidence for human evolution ... there are no religiously inspired 'abstinence only' sex education curricula ... there are no parental groups lobbying schools and city councils to remove Harry Potter books from school and public libraries ... there are no restaurants that include Bible verses on their menus and placemats, there are no 'Faith Nights' at national sporting events ..."

How Sweden Weathered Its Financial Crisis

An article from the Times about what the US can learn from Sweden's economic crisis in the 90s. Excerpt:

Sweden did not just bail out its financial institutions by having the government take over the bad debts. It extracted pounds of flesh from bank shareholders before writing checks. Banks had to write down losses and issue warrants to the government.

That strategy held banks responsible and turned the government into an owner. When distressed assets were sold, the profits flowed to taxpayers, and the government was able to recoup more money later by selling its shares in the companies as well.

Yay, Sverige! (One has to wonder, though, how in the hell they managed to turn rightward after an economic crisis like that. People I talk to who live there---who are NOT rich---are pissed off at the government. They hate it and can't wait to oust the righties in the next election. I certainly hope that Swedes, and the world in general, have noted from the US's current troubles that this idea of oober-freemarket capitalism is SCREWED. It. does. not. work.)

Beep!

No Pumpkin Pie in Sweden?!?!?!?!?!?!

And last for today....

I'm very disturbed by this recent development. VERY disturbed. I cannot even convey my disturbenment. I've asked hundreds of Swedes--and by hundreds I mean about five--if they have pumpkin pie over there, and none of them had ever heard of it. One even asked me if it was sweet! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?!?!?!??!

!? I'm bareily containing my hyperventilation just typing about it. I'm like Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Liaisons, when she's all huffing and puffing because Valmont came onto her and she's about to pass out because her corset's too tight. .....wait a minnut. That made no sense at all. The point is I'm flabbergasted. Just flabbergasted. ...Could it be my destiny to bring pumpkin consciousness to Sweden????? Then will we all turn into pure energy and live forever in bliss, like some neverending production of Hair (which, yes, I saw in Central Park this year)????? Maybe. Probably. Yes, definitely absolutely. What do those techies call it---the triangulation? Or the strangulation? Or the marmatanium? You know, the thing that guy who invented keyboards talks about? Whatever. I think my memory went down a black h0le created by that supper-collider in Switzerland. Yes, that's it.

Beep!
PQ

I Could've Called!

Now why is it that I hear about THIS when it's too late to do anything about it?!?!? Way to go, Very Short List, for letting me know a couple days before the thing ended. Hmmph!

Turns out I could've called Norway and had my voice projected over a loudspeaker to some village called Dale. But now, since it's deer season, the art installation is down, so they can only hear me on the internet. And I'm only, like, everywhere, you know, so, I mean, like, yeah. But anyway... Alas!!!!!!!

Beep!
PQ

Norwegian Easiest for English Speakers

So who knew? Apparently Norwegian is the easiest language for English speakers to learn. And so another piece of the puzzle falls into place. It's all according to this very exhaustive blog entry, which I admit that I haven't completely read but have chosen to believe. How Repuglican of me! I suppose I should quote the entry for good measure, so here you are:

Norwegian plurals are very regular.

There you go! Even the LANGUAGE in Norway understands the importance of a high-fiber diet! Talk about advancedness! w00t w00t for Norway!

Beep!
PQ (for Prince Quistvalden)